Waiting. . .

This time in my life is a time of waiting upon the lord.
And in this time I have found my emotions are so fragile.
I feel as though I am caught in slow motion while everyone else around me speeds by as if in a time-laps.
I am trying to practice patience while God has me waiting. But it is such a hard thing to do sometimes.

I want things too happen in my life, but I want it to happen soon. . . not later. And when it doesnt happen I want to ask; "When, God? Dont you care?" 

For me, I believe a lot of my desire lays in getting married. And I have to be careful not to idolize that in my life. But for a 21 year old woman still living at home, serounded by friends who are getting engaged and married right and left, its hard to be content. It is hard to accept that I have no significant relationships even visible in my future. My own sister got married when she was 18, and a dear friend recently got married at the age of 18 as well. I kow it is a selfish thing to become emotional and forlorn over being 21 and single.....all I can say is, God help me. 

And as I searched for some comfort and encouragment I came across this beautiful artical written by a lady named Mandy Hale exspressing her fear that she might never find the simplest and most complicated of life’s blessings: "someone to love who also loves me." But then as I read on I was convicted through the conversation she had with the lord - as I read . . .

"Then the voice asked me: "If there is never a husband—if it’s always just you and me—will you still follow me?

. . . There was no pause in my spirit. No need to stop and think. Only one answer that rang true, loud, and clear in my heart: Yes, Jesus. I will follow you. I will trust you, and I will follow you through the waiting."

"The waiting. Oh, this sometimes endless and frustrating and even hopeless season of waiting. Wait is a word I keep hearing whispered into my spirit these days, and it’s a word I’m learning to appreciate more and more because I know that all good and beautiful blessings from God take time. Abraham waited 25 years for his promised child. Joseph waited 13 years in slavery for his promised destiny. Moses waited 40 years for the Promised Land. And even Jesus waited! He waited 30 years—mostly hidden, quiet, unassuming years—to begin his earthly ministry that would change the world.

We can learn so much during the hard process of waiting. In difficult seasons of waiting, God nudges me to constantly remember how utterly and completely dependent I am on him. He prompts me to lay down my own dreams and goals and plans and surrender entirely to his. And it is only after I stop chasing success and start chasing him that I can be truly successful—on his terms.

I think that’s the bigger picture God longs for us single ladies to see with the whole “waiting for love” thing. The waiting isn’t about God withholding something good from us—it’s about him showing us that the ultimate good we could ever desire is found in him alone. It has always been him. It will always be him. After all, he is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, the one who was and is and is to come (Revelation 1:8)." - Mandy

I thank Mandy Hale for sharing her heart. And I thank god for bringing me to this artical, and using it to encourage me as I wait, and convict me of my attitude.
I am not so desperate. I just have a pining in my heart. But in this I need to focus on my relatonship with God, rather than the lack of relationship with a man.
At this time in my life i need to cultivate strength, faith, and obedience to surrender to Gods good and perfect plan for my life. And I need let go of my imperfect plans. 

“Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.” Psalm 27:14

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” Romans 8:25

"...so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light." Colossians 1:10-12

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43:1b- 3a

"The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save: he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he wil exult over you with loud singing." Zephaniah 3:17

"Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you." Isaiah 43:4

I don’t know how I will feel tomorrow. But I know that I am precious to Him. You are precious to Him. And today, that’s all that matters. Right? 

These are just my thoughts for the day. I hope you dont mind my venting.

Rosanna ♥

03/25/16

Just some encouragement to anyone out there. 

God breaks us down to build us back up again, stronger and more focused.

More compassionate and connected to Him. 

More sure and humble. 

More joyful and free. 

So, when you just can’t do anymore, don’t. 

Surrender and give thanks. 

He’s got this and you don’t need to always know why, when and how. 

Trust Him.

                      Rosanna ♥

Titus 2 \\ Servants & Godliness

Servants (2:9,10)

Slaves too, who made up a significant portion of first-century congregations, responsible for honoring God with their lives Paul listed five qualities which were to characterize Christians who found themselves serving others. Titus was to teach them to be subject to their masters in everything; The duty of submission is emphasized in several other passages. In Ephesians 6:5 Paul writes, ‘Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.’ Again, in Colossians 3:22 he says, ‘Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it not only when their eye is on you to win their favor but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.’ Peter takes up the subject as well in 1 Pet. 2:18 saying ‘Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh’. Lying back of these commands is a recognition that masters have a legitimate authority over their slaves and that their authority is not to be rebelled against. Just as people, in general, are to be subject to rulers (Titus 3:1) so slaves are to be subject to their masters.

They are to be well-pleasing; They are to endeavor to give them satisfaction. This involves being conscientious and hardworking. If a slave is lazy or does his work carelessly and half-heartedly, he will certainly not please his master. Does God require anything less of those who are involuntary, paid employment? It ought to be a constant aim of Christian employees to give their employer satisfaction. And that means exactly the same as it did in the realm of first-century slavery. Lazy workers or workers who do their work carelessly and half-heartedly will certainly not please their superior. We need to be conscientious and hardworking.

Neither are they to be argumentative; Here we come to the spirit in which the work is to be done. A slave receives his orders and is not happy with what he is told to do. So he makes a surly remark. He grumbles and complains. He may go on and do the work well enough, but he has done it in a resentful spirit and with resentful words. ‘That’, says Paul, ‘is wrong. Teach slaves not to talk back to their masters’. Regardless of how common and acceptable it may be in the eyes of many, it is forbidden to the Christian slave. He is to do his work in a right spirit, willingly fulfilling the tasks that his master has assigned him. The standard is surely no lower for workers in employment situations. Christians are to be characterized by self-control in the use of their tongues.

Nor pilfering; This word translated in the greek is νοσφίζω (nosphizō) which is misappropriation of funds for one’s own benefit; hence “to embezzle”. Many slaves were in positions of trust. The opportunities were there to take things that did not belong to them and either keep or sell them. And human nature being what it is, many of them would have done it. Here again, however, the will of God is plain. Christian slaves are to be honest and not to steal from their masters. Regardless of what others are doing they are to submit to the authority of the eighth commandment and have nothing in their pockets or their homes that they have not been given or earned. The legitimacy of applying this to the workplace today is utterly beyond dispute,

but showing all good faith. Slaves are to show that they can be fully trusted , without using fraud or doing injury, in transacting the affairs of their masters. The purpose of the slaves’ behavior is made clear in the last part of this verse, namely, to ensure that people regard the Christian message in a positive manner—‘so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior’.


And finally, a call for godliness (2:11-15)

”For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12 training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, 13 waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. 15 Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.”

God’s Grace is so powerful in our lives as believers. As it says in verse 12, ‘it teaches us to renounce [ἀρνέομαι (arneomai) which means to deny] ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age’. Grace not only brings about change; it also enables us consequently to live genuine Christian lives. In verse 13 the Greek for waiting [προσδέχομαι (prosdechomai)] often carries an air of zeal and eagerness. The Gospel of grace encourages godly living by focusing on the future as that of the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. In verse 14 Paul grounds his address for godliness in the fact that one purpose of Jesus’ death was to make his people holy. Paul roots this with the phrase to redeem us from all lawlessness. There is no room for claiming to be redeemed while failing to show evidence of actual transformation. Paul ends this chapter by emphasizing Titus’ responsibility to the various groups of people he has been given responsibility over to teach: ‘Declare these things; exhort[encourage] and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard[despise] you’. Right at the beginning of the chapter Titus is exhorted to ‘teach what is in accord with sound doctrine’ (v. 1). Now that exhortation is repeated. He is also to encourage them to follow the instructions that they have been given, as well as to rebuke them for any failure to do so. Titus is to command the people’s respect as he labors among them as a teacher, by being an example of the godly lifestyle that he is preaching to others.

Closing Thoughts.

In study this chapter in the book of Titus I was reminded again, and again, of the virtues in which my mother and father have been so faithfully teaching me for as long as I can remember. I cannot say that I learned a lot from this study. But it was good for me to spend such devoted time in the study of these verse, giving me a stronger foundation on which I stand as a young woman in this world today. The virtues of Titus 2 are greatly need in our culture. 

At the end of Titus chapter 2, Paul tells us that the world often judges the gospel by the way we [Christians] live. Our behaviors, should not cause people to despise the word of God. And if they do, let us pray that they are in the fault and not us—lest we be misrepresenting God in any way shape or form. Perish the thought.

Titus 2 \\ Older and Younger Woman

Older Women (2:3)

In verse 3 Paul uses the word ‘likewise’ to indicate that he expects similar behavior of older women as he commanded Titus to teach to older men. But there is more. Older women are also to be reverent, ἱεροπρεπής (hieroprepēs). This Greek word appears only here in the New Testament and is used to describe a priestess who devotes herself to temple service. It can refer to a person or object that is consecrated to God, or it can mean to behave as a holy person. Our self-image has a direct bearing on our behavior. If all Christians thought of themselves as holy and behaved accordingly, what an impact that change in attitude might have upon a watching world.

Older women are ‘not to be slanderers’. In the use of their tongues, women are to apply strict self-control. It is far too common for women of all ages to engage in vicious gossip; to help in the spread of rumors, and to say unkind and hurtful things about others. Such speech is not to be heard coming from the mouth of an older Christian women.

”Talkativeness is a disease of women, and it is increased by old age. To this is added, that women never think that they are eloquent enough, if they are not given to prattling and to slander—if they do not attack the characters of all. The consequence is, that old women, by their slanderous talkativeness, as by a lighted torch, frequently set on fire many houses. 

- Calvin, John, and William Pringle.

Commentaries on the Epistles to Timothy, Titus, and Philemon.

Older women are not to be ‘slaves to much wine.’ It seems that, just as Women are addicted to talking, so also many Women are given to drinking, so that, neglecting modesty and sobriety, they indulge in an unbecoming abandon and lack of restraint. Not holding to the standards of that which is right and proper in polite society or in accordance with scripture. though drinking seems to have been a common practice among the older women of that time and is certainly not unknown today! Be that is it may, it is to have no place among Christian women. They may be lonely; they may be facing difficulties and trials in their life; they may be tempted by neighbors or by friends. Nevertheless, the duty of Christian Women is clear: they are not to be addicted—enslaved—to much wine.

They are to ‘teach what is good.’ They are to share the things that they have learned in the course of their Christian lives with others. Particularly, as we see in verses 4 and 5 with younger Women In these verses, Paul shows Titus that it is not enough if their own life is decent, if they[older Women] do not also train young women, by their instructions, to a modest and chaste life. therefore, older Women are not to be self-absorbed; they are not to spend their days thinking only of themselves. But rather should be interested in others, particularly the younger generation. And in various ways—formally and informally, both by word and example—older Women are to teach younger Women what is good so they too might live lives that are pleasing to God and a blessing to others.


Younger Women (2:4,5)

In verse 4 and 5 Paul specifically names the ‘good things’ that the older women are to teach to the younger Women. The word translated train [σωφρονίζω (sōphronízō)] is literally ‘to bring someone to his senses’. These instructions not only help the older women to understand their responsibility toward the young women; but they also help the younger Women to understand what they themselves, as Christian Women, ought to be. The words ‘young Women’ is translated in the greek as νέος (neos) pertaining to a living being who is relatively young, often the younger of two objects. I believe the main focus here is that of older women in their duty to help younger women learn how to be godly wives and mothers.

The older Women are instructed to train the younger Women to ‘love their husbands and children.’ Having been the culture then, marriages were usually arranged by the parents of the bride and groom. therefore, young wives would then need the wise counsel of their elders to learn how to love their husbands. Marital love is something that Paul talks about elsewhere—briefly in Colossians, at greater length in Ephesians. etc; In those passages he addresses husbands. A Christian husband is to love his wife and is to do so as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Here in Titus, the picture is rounded out. The love of a husband is to be matched by the love of a wife. This instruction for the training of younger women in their attitude towards their husband is combined with the attitude towards their children as well. This reminder is quite significant in a society where children are given very little importance. Young mothers are to be trained ‘to love their … children’. This is not a love that is inclined to indulge children so that they always get their own way. Neither is it a love that is beyond tolerant of them and, therefore, refuse to give discipline for their wrong doings. No. This love is that which is careful to make wise decisions about appropriate behavior and wise is applying disciplining when there is failure to obey. Young mothers may need help in this, and older women should be the ones who are there to help them. The word love here is translated as φίλανδρος (philandros) which means to have affection for. Has the question crossed your mind of why these Women had to be taught to have affection for their husbands and children? I don’t believe it is a natural thing to the human nature to show affection and enjoy one’s family. How many couples do you know that are affectionate to one another and publicly enjoy each others company, opinion, personality, etc; And likewise for parents and their children. This I believe is a subject that may take a great deal of thought, and also, ought to be taught more vibrantly among families in our day and age.

Young Women are to be ‘self-controlled.’ With the same instruction and admonishment that was given to the older men in verse 3, Paul urges Titus that is is of uttermost importance for young Women to behave in a sensible manner, exercising restraint over one’s own impulses, emotions, and desires

They are to be‘pure.’ The instruction is probably a reference to sexual purity above all else, but surely also implies to wholesomeness in their thoughts, speech, and conduct in everyday life. Where purity may seem to apply with great extent to single Women, I can assure you that it most certainly applies to those young wives as well. Marriage does not exempt a Women from sexual temptation. It is not at all uncommon for a Women to find herself to be attracted to man other than her husband. She may even be tempted to commit adultery. Sadly, it is all too common for such a thing as this to devastate a marriage and bring it to its knees. The bible instructs that a young Christian Women is to be faithful to her husband. That applies even if things should be difficult in her marriage.

They are to be ‘busy at home.’ that is “domestic” (oikourgous, lit., “working at home”) Paul stresses to women who are wives and mothers that they are to be ‘homemakers’. Her home is her priority. Old-fashioned as it may sound, it is the thing that is to come first—not her career. A wife has a responsibility before God to ensure that her home is properly managed. She is so to take care of things at home in a manner so as to make sure that it is a place where her husband and children are happy to be. By making their homes their first priority, Women would not only give proper attention to their families but also avoid the dangers of idleness and gossip, which Paul condemns in 1 Tim. 5:13–14.

Young Women are also to be ‘kind.’ All Christians are to be kind (2:5; Eph. 4:32), but Paul specifically urges kindness as a virtue for the younger women. Unless one maintains a kind attitude, it is easy to dwell on the intentional or unintentional offenses that are so common in family life and thus grow irritable and harsh. Proverbs 31:26 says of the virtuous Women that “on her tongue is the law of kindness” Then there is the matter of hospitality—opening our homes to visitors and to people who are in need and sharing time and food with them. We learn from chapter 1:8 that this is one of the duties of an elder. In Romans 12:13, however, Paul urges all believers to be hospitable. “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
It is an important way of showing Christian kindness. And it is just such kindness that is to characterize younger Christian women.

And lastly, Paul urges that young Women are to be ‘subject to their husbands’. It is the clear teaching in Ephesians 5:23 that “For the husband is head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church—and as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything”. The husband’s role is that of a leader within the home, and it is the duty of his wife to accept and follow his leadership. This in no way implies that a husband is superior to his wife. (..as they are now ‘one flesh’—Mk. 10:8) Nor does it ever give him the right to tyrannize, abuse, or bully. A husband’s leadership in the home is to be characterized by the self-giving love that is seen in Christ’s relationship to the church. But he is to lead. And “just as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything”(Eph. 5:24). The overall concern is with the reputation of the gospel. If Christian women are not loving and respectful to their husbands or do not give ample care to their families, others might have occasion to ‘malign the word of God’ (2:5). The word ‘malign’ translates in the greek as βλασφημέω (blasphēmeō) which means quite literally ‘to speak against someone in such a way as to harm or injure his or her reputation’.
The conduct of Christian women can surely be an advertisement of the power of the gospel.

Titus 2 \\ Older and Younger Men

In Titus 2 there is constant emphasis on the life-style that bears out the truth of the gospel, and there is application to different groups in the Christian community, older men and women, young women, young men, and slaves In these verses, Paul doesn’t exhort them directly as he does in Ephesians and Colossians. The exhortations are rather to Titus as to what he is to teach them. Titus was to teach them to live in a way that ‘is in accord with sound doctrine.’ A lifestyle that will affirm rather than deny their claim to know God.

Older Men (2:2).

The overall picture of older men is of Christian dignity and vibrant faith. Older men are to be Sobe-minded; The word used here in greek is νηφάλιος (nēphalios), temperate; sober. The word ‘temperate’ we find in our dictionaries defined as ‘that which is marked by moderation: as a: keeping or held within limits: not extreme or excessive: MILD b: moderate in indulgence of appetite or desire c: moderate in the use of alcoholic beverages d: marked by an absence or avoidance of extravagance, violence, or extreme partisanship Yes, the temperate man is moderate in all his tastes and habits. He is not excessive. He is not a slave to his cravings. Whether he is eating, drinking, sleeping, spending money, or playing, he maintains a tight reign on his desires. and he is not a slave to his temper either. (Proverbs 14:26) “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.”

Dignified; σεμνός (semnos), pertaining to appropriate, befitting behavior and implying dignity and respect—‘honorable, worthy of respect, of good character. Some other suggested translations are ‘grave’, ‘reverent’, ‘dignified’, ‘serious’, or ‘respectable’. I do not believe that Paul is saying that it is inappropriate for older men to have fun or be silly. But he does mean that there are boundaries in which fun should be set. Older men are not to play the part of a fool. Nothing is more shameful than for an old man to indulge in youthful wantonness, and, by his countenance, to strengthen the impudence of the young. Older men are to conduct themselves in ways that befit their years. And in so doing you will be men of weight, setting the standard for younger men and all those around you. You will be a man, worthy of respect, and will be the stronghold of your family and your congregation.

And self-controlled, σώφρων (sōphrōn), thoughtful, prudent a sensible man; someone known for his wisdom, sound judgment, and maturity. Through true maturity, the gap narrows between what one knows he ought to do and what he actually does. According to an English dictionary, ‘prudence’ is the ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason, sagacity or shrewdness in the management of affairs, skill and good judgment in the use of resources, and caution or circumspection as to danger or risk And if a man holds this virtue it will certainly be reflected in his life. His speech, his behavior, the decisions that he takes, the counsel that he gives, the responses that he makes to the various situations in life will all bear the stamp of self-control.

These marks of maturity should be complemented by marks of godliness, the three central Christian virtues of faith πίστις (pistis) … love ἀγάπη (agapē) and steadfastness ὑπομονή (hypomonē). What Paul wants to see in older men is a healthy trust in God. It is to be one of the striking features of their character. Their love is to be in good health, too. It is not to be allowed to grow cold. Nor is it to be lacking in principle or firmness. If needs be, it is to be tough love—love that constrains them to warn, to rebuke, to exhort fellow Christians whom they see to be in spiritual danger. It is to be a love embracive of all, a love that is directed, supremely, to God. The older Christian man should not be a waverer—one for whom we feel concern whenever trials come lest they should put him off his stride. Rather, he is to be an example to others of what it means to overcome in the strength of Christ—remaining faithful to him and to his word and to his people through thick and thin, to the very end.

Younger men (2:6-8)

Titus was to likewise [or similarly] (implying a parallel to the responsibilities already outlined for other groups) encourage the young men to exercise self-control. This word is becoming very familiar to us. Paul has spoken of this particular virtue with each of the four groups of people. But what word so well embodies the very thing that all young men need—mastery of themselves?

“How then is it to be obtained? The plain answer is—through the Bible. In the Bible, we have the mind of Christ and of God; clear directives from heaven as to how we are to live and what we are to believe. Let any younger man who is reading this give himself earnestly to its study! The mind is like a garden. If a garden is not carefully looked after and cultivated, it quickly becomes a wilderness. So it is with a Christian mind. Leave it alone, and it will swiftly become worldly in its thinking. If then you would be sober-minded—a sensible, prudent Christian marked by sound judgment—steep your mind in the Word of God!”

- David Campbell

Opening up Titus, Opening Up Commentary

Notice that Paul tells Titus, in verses 2 and 3 to teach the older people—but here in verse 6 he tells Titus to encourage the young men. Encouragement may be the most useful tool when making a point from one young man to another. I want to assure you that the word translated encourage is not a weak one. παρακαλέω (parakaleō) means to urge; beg; implore; exhort. It is a strong word, implying that Titus must urge this teaching upon them. At the same time Paul urges Titus himself to be ‘a model of good works’ for these young men, and in his teaching to ‘show integrity, dignity, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned. So that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.’(2:8)

As a teacher with integrity, Titus would not allow his message to be contaminated by false teaching. His demeanor would indicate dignity. As an ambassador of Jesus Christ, Titus must never descend to behavior or speech that would bring reproach upon his calling. And as for the meaning of ‘soundness of speech’—Every christian teaching must be healthy and wholesome. When Paul says that Titus’ teaching must be such that it cannot be condemned, he does not imply that Titus could control the reaction of others to him or to the gospel. It is impossible to avoid opposition as one who heads and therefore teaches the gospel. However, he could ensure that the condemnation that they might receive would have no foundation to stand upon. Christians can live and teach in such a way that when others oppose the gospel, they will be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about [them].

Jon & Alyssa | Engagement ♥

Back in September I was privledged to take Engagment photo's for a dear friend, but I never had the oportunity to post them. 

So here they are now! Cutest couple ever ♥ 

Beholding and embracing

I am so so sorry for having taken such length in time between posts.
When I came home from Africa, I brought some nasty illnesses with me. But I never really took it seriously. I avoided taking the medications I was given, and I shrugged off the precautions that my doctor suggested.  While at Moody, my health deteriorated at an alarming rate.  Due to great thought, prayer, and conviction during the five month's I was at school, my parents asked me to come home and not to return to school in the spring.  So, at the end of December, and my first semester at Moody Bible institute, I moved back to Fernwood to live with my parents again.  I admit I struggled greatly with this at first. Having made such a wonderful community of friends in Spokane, as well as gaining a great love for learning, studying, and the atmosphere of school. I had many fears that came with the thought of moving home. I feared coming home because of the lack of growth I had experienced in the past, before stepping out and attending college. I also feared to lose

the friends I had just made. However, I love and respect my parents and their authority, and I trust that they know what is best for me. So I came home.  Even though I came home, I struggled with my attitude about leaving behind what I had just begun in Spokane.  I struggled with my attitude towards my parents for taking me away from my new community of friends.  I struggled with frustrations about what I would do with my life, now.  Once I was settled in at home, my parents asked that I not look for a job (having been independent since I was 15, they felt that I needed to learn how to be content to stay at home). Begrudgingly I consented.  So many people have praised me for my submissive and humble attitude about everything that has changed in my life. Please understand, though, that it took me a while to come around to having a truly right and godly attitude about coming home, and not having a job being content with it all. I struggled on the inside. Even though I was obedient and submissive outwardly, there was plenty of grumbling and crying on the inside. But, coming home was a good thing, for my health especially. I fear that if I had stayed in that living situation much longer I would have suffered immensely due to the severity and decline of my health. Over the past 2 months, my parents have been helping me to take better care of my health and body, follow the doctors orders to bring healing....and honestly, I haven't felt that great through the recovery. I am still quite far away from being well again.  It is a slow process. And, as my parents say, I am still a very sick girl. I know most people wouldn't guess it to look at me, but please be understanding. No one knows the way that I feel except for me.  On a happier note, my heart is more content now than it was two months ago, and I know that God is at work teaching me new things through difficult circumstances.  I mean really, no one relishes being sick, but I trust Him, just like I trusted my parents, and I know He has my best interests in mind.  When I sang" Oceans" in our worship service, I had no idea that my cry to "take me deeper than my feet would ever wander" would look like this.......it is not what I had in mind.  However, it is becoming more OK all the time.
I would greatly appreciate your prayers! And please, if anyone has anything that they would like to have prayer for, don't hesitate to send a request my way. I would LOVE to pray for you.


For Christ and His Kingdom