Make Me Broken

There is a song by sidewalk Prophets that Brenna and I have been singing over and over. First we just chose this song to play for a benefit concert before we came to Uganda, but then.. . when we reached Africa and sang it one afternoon Paul Hunter asked us to share the song at Church; So we got up and sang it our very first Sunday in Africa in front of 800 people!

 We have continued to share the message in this song at different events, including a Teen Challenge meeting we went to last week in Kampala.
Each time we sing this song I just come to love it more and more.
I found out that the verses which inspired this song came from Psalm 51:1-2, 10-11 which says, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.”

Most of the time I would never think of asking God to make me broken, but I think it is something that I need...to be made uncomfortable so that I might be in a place to do great things for him. I've gotten too comfortable where I am. 

Another thing that I have realized is that I'm not as free, and open as I thought I was. When it comes to sharing our heart on the veranda each morning, I find it so so hard to communicate even with those I know. 

Its not a good thing, because if I can not even share the gospel with the people I am close to, how can I go out and share the love of God when I struggle so much just within myself?

So I have just been asking God to break my down, and show me please how to be free. 

Make me broken
So I can be healed
‘Cause I’m so calloused
And now I can’t feel
I want to run to You
With heart wide open
Make me broken

Make me empty
So I can be filled
‘Cause I’m still holding
Onto my will
And I’m completed
When you are with me
Make me empty

[Chorus:]
‘Til You are my one desire
‘Til You are my one true love
‘Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me

Make me lonely
So I can be Yours
‘Til I want no one
More than You, Lord
‘Cause in the darkness
I know You will hold me
Make me lonely

[Chorus:]
‘Til You are my one desire
‘Til You are my one true love
‘Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me

---

I wrote what is above just a day ago, and there is so much that has gone on in my heart since then. And I know that God is doing what I asked. . . he's breaking me down, and its hard and painful somehow.

Im struggling to connect to people that I am living with here. . .I feel very far, and I dont know if it is because I have been too dependent on my friendships and relationships with people. . . Is this Gods way of showing me I need to depend more on him and less on the people around me? . . . It is very hard for me to be distant from people, cause I feel like I need them. 

 There is so much that I'm thinking about, and so much in me that I know needs to grow. Papa Hunter has so much good teahing, so much to say, and its hard for me to prosses it all and apply it to my life.

I know who I am, and I think I know why I am here . . . 

. . . but I dont know if I know where I am going.  

What I am doing. . . I dont want it to be for me. It is to be for God, for his kingdom, and for his glory. 

Some thoughts and pictures

Our first week in Uganda has passed and is fading into the horizon.

I can not believe how the time has gone so quickly. We've done so much, yet seems like so little at the same time.

Every day is much different from the last, some days we are out all day, some days we are just here at the compound, some days we spend hours driving in the van. . .and we are always meeting and greeting people everywhere.

It is somehow difficult to communicate because of the language bearer. . .luckily most people know enough English the exchange a greeting, and "how are you!?" Never the less, it is hard not to get discouraged because I can not communicate the love, care, and compassion that I desire to communicate to these people.

I know that actions sometimes speak louder than words, but here. . . being able to speak to the people and understand them when they are talking to me is something I long for.

Sometimes speaking the language is uncomfortable, because they may laugh at the way you pronounce a word. . . but in the long run my comfort doesn't matter. I left comfort far behind when I got on the plane to fly 10,000 miles across the ocean to a third world country.

I feel like I'm talking in circles, I apologize.

It is frustrating not being able to communicate, even here on my blog, the things that I am thinking and feeling, and the opportunities and experiences that God has given us here.

But now let me just give you a taste of life here though a few pictures. I will be writing and highlighting more of the events as the my time (and the internet) allows. For now there will just be a few pictures, not in any particular order. But I hope you Enjoy.

I can not take the credit for these pictures, as most of them have been taken by our dear brother Ezra.

This is the Church we attended our first Sunday, with nearly 800 people



 

Ezra and Peter have begun to do a bible study with a group of Muslim people, right in their own village.

Ezra and Brenna 

This is Masese

And so it begins

It is hard to even begin to explain in depth, as I wish to, about all the things that have gone on in just these first 4 days that Brenna and I have been in Uganda. God is doing many things in our hearts already! And I think I may just fail to relay all that is on my heart right now. 

Our first day was so full of excitement as we went to meet some of the people that Papa Paul Hunter has been writing about on the Next Generation Ministries page on Facebook.

The first girl we met, her name is Olivia. And from the time she was in high school has been paralyzed from her waist down. No feeling in her legs at all. Papa Paul, along with a few others, took Olivia to the hospital in Kampala to be operated on.

Olivia had many visitors this day

Isn't She beautiful!?

We are very hopeful that she will be able to use her legs again. Such a sweet girl! We only visited her for a short while, but she asked when we would come back to visit, because can you imagine how lonely it would be to sit in a hospital with no company!? Brenna and I look forward to visiting her again very soon! 

The second girl we visited was Sharon. Sharon is only 8 years old, but some time ago she was run over by two boda's (motorcycle taxi) and received 6 fractures in her legs, arms, and various other places. Paul Hunter took her to the hospital in kampala to br operated on after she spent some time in Jinja without care after the acident happened. Now, we are taking her tomorrow to get her last cast off!! You would not believe how good she is looking! And to see a smile on that little girls face after all the pain she has been through.

These are the scars from the surgery that corrected the fractured bones in Sharon's arms. Her right arm looks the same.

The last place we visited on Friday was the house of a lady called Sarah. . . A single mother, who has 12 kids under her care. Not all are hers, but she has taken those other children into her home. Some days they go hungry, because for Sarah it is very hard to make enough money to feed all those children. So, before we went to Sarah's house, we went to the market to buy food to bless Sarah's family with. When we arrived at their home we were invited in, the children gathered all around and we just had fellowship. I am looking forward to building relationship with this sweet family. 

This is a picture from where Papa Paul and Chris bought bags of rice and beans.

These are only a few of the children that are under mama Sarah care.

These are Sarah's two oldest biological daughters, Ester and Rita.

And this is Sarah's youngest biological daughter, Precious.

So, that is just a little peek at our first day here is Jinja, Uganda. And SO MUCH more has happened in the days following. But I will share more later. For now, I hope you are blessed by the pictures and stories. 

The t i m e has come!

It's less than 24 hours till we leave!!!



I can hardly believe this day is already here. As many of you know, my dear friend Brenna and I will be leaving for Uganda, Africa in less than 24 hours! We will be departing from Seattle at 1:43pm tomorrow afternoon, and not returning till May 7th.

God is so amazing!
I am beyond excited for the adventures and struggles that I will be facing over the next 3 weeks.




As we have been preparing for this trip, the least enjoyable part has probably been packing. What to bring and what not to bring.....Oh, the stress of leaving something important behind.....but alas, we are ready to go.



Our personal luggage. . .

...and the extra luggage we are taking that is filled to the brim with things to bless people in Uganda with.

Thank you all, so much, for your prayer and support!!!
Keep in touch for updates and pictures of our adventures and ministry over the next few weeks. I am going to do my best to share stories with you as much as possible. <3

[The sun setting on the eve of our last full day in the U.S.]

To God be the Glory

Baby G o a t s ♥

It's that time of year when I post picture of this years kids !!

E n j o y (:

This little beauty was the first of the Kids to be born. 

At this angle she kinda looks like Jar-Jar-Binks from star wars. . . doesn't she?

So Tiny!!
 I decided to name her Mabel {which means, lovable}

Then came Marshall. . 

and Moses

Aren't they A d o r a b l e!? 

~

My baby's are almost 3 weeks old now. . . and growing up too too fast!

I wish they would stay little forever.

{P.s. I really want a Nigerian dwarf goat. Look them up! You'll just fall into a puddle of "awww"}

Anywho....

....that concludes this crazy post about my goats(: I hope you enjoyed the pictures!

It's almost here! {Uganda trip update}

We will be leaving to go to serve with Next Generation Ministries in Jinja, Uganda in just 26 days! I am so ready to see lives changed and experience whatever God has planned for me in the 3 weeks we will be spending there!
 God has provided me with all the funds I needed for this trip to happen, through the support of my friends and family. Thank you [so much] to everyone who has joined me in prayer and financial partnership! It would not be possible without you. A million times, thank you!

One thing I am looking forward to is working with Hope For Woman In Crisis; A ministry started by a dear friend of mine, Lyzette. She has a heart to help woman, especially young mothers and their baby's. I will be taking supplies for the baby's with me to donate to the Lyzettes ministry.  Lyzette stressed a need for clothes, diapers, formula, blankets. . etc; It would be fun to be able to take some little toys for the baby's as well (:
Here is the last update I had from Lyzette.

Hey my love:

We have 6 girls and 7 babies : These girls are between the ages 13 and 17. 

Woman in crisis have a home where they live .

These girls need all the basics of life; and they also need education. 

Right now we are looking out for sponsors who can help send these girls back to school this year.

Their babies need diapers; baby formula, and clothes.

Their names are: 

Suzan ( 17 years old) mother to Brenda 3 months old

Victo (14 years old) mother to twins Grace and JohnMark, they are 9 months old  

Damalie (17 years old) mother to Daniel 3 months old 

Joan (15 years old) mother to Nick 2 months old

 Sylvia(16 years old) mother to Kyle 1 month old

Percy (16 year old) mother to Julia Ann only a few weeks old.

We still go to the hospital and still help mothers at the hospital, so we still need lots of donations. 

Thank your work

Love you

So, I am asking, if the lord lay it on your heart to donate, that you would please contact me soon!
Would you please consider helping me bless these young girls and their sweet babies?

I've linked the Hope For Woman In Crisis blog up above, so, swing by and read some of the amazing things that God is doing in Jinja, Uganda! 

Thank you! (:

Also, would you please keep Brenna and I in your prayers as we get packed up and ready to fly 10,000 miles across the ocean to Africa. and in the three weeks we will be serving in Uganda, that we would be vessels of Gods love and whatever he would have us do. The excitement is building up! To God be the GLORY! 

What is Eternal Life . . ?

At our youth bible study on Tuesday night we watched the 4th session of the Truth Project by Del Tackett. In his class he posed sever questions....Who is God? Why did Jesus come? What is Truth? and What is Eternal life? 

What is Eternal life. . . ?

I know what eternal life is. . .  it is, Eternal; [Forever; without end or beginning.] Life; [Existing. The existence of an individual] Eternal life is what happens when those who believe "pass away" right? We get to go live with God forever in heaven, never to die.

 Hmm. . . 

Del Tackett took us through John 3:16, and John 4, John 5 and eventually to John 17. Here it took a turn that most people wouldn't expect. (At least, I didn't)

""Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, 
and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent." (John 17: 3) 

Eternal life is knowing God. That seems pretty simple. Are you disappointed with that definition? You think you know God, and you still aren't satisfied. But in this verse- to "know" means so much more than an intellectual knowledge of something or someone. This "knowledge" is deep and intimate, and close. It's a personal relationship with God. 

Personal; [of or concerning one's private life,

 relationships, and emotions]

Intimate; [closely acquainted; familiar]

I know that I have known this, but just in having it brought to my attention again I realized that I already have eternal life, it began with a choice to believe. It's exciting to think both you and I have eternal life. And all our brothers and sisters in Christ. That is awesome ; )

I know that I have not cared for my relationship with God as I should, and that is so disheartening to me. . . It makes me incredibly ashamed. But God grace is there, and it amazes me. . .  even though I do/have lived poorly, eternal life is still mine. 

AND . . . it's for right now! I don't have to wait  until I get to heaven to experience it! 

"It’s not “pie in the sky by and by” but rather “steak on your plate while you wait.”

John 3:16 says that God loved the world so much, He gave His only begotten Son so those who believed on Him wouldn't perish but have everlasting life.  If you have chosen to believe on Jesus just so that you won’t go to hell and are now just waiting around till you go to heaven, then you are missing out on the everlasting life that God promises and longs to have with you. God wants you right now!

So here's my questions;

Do you know God?