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| Me and my dear brother Yves |
- From my journal -
Tuesday, August 23rd. 2011
In the back of our minds we knew the time would come, but we tried to abstain from it by calling it "bad words" and forbidding people to talk about it. Now it is here and we can't avoid it any longer...
we are leaving today.
I'm not ready to go........didn't we just get here? Two months seems like such a short time, yet again it feels like it has been an eternity! so much has happened, and in such a short period of time. Things that would have taken years to uncover appeared in a matter of just a few weeks.
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The relationships we built, and the people we met who loved us so unconditionally, made it seem beyond the bounds of possibility for our hearts to stay intact when going back home. They witnessed the change and growth in my life, because they had been part of the influence.
Mama Sera was one of my closest friends! she was always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, or an encouraging word, or a hug.
Uncle Jeff was always full of wise and encouraging words! His 'fathers heart' made it so easy to love him and let him love me! He inspired me to look deeper into my life and know the real me....weather he knows it or not; he helped me to grow in so many ways!
I think that the guys in the The Dove voice band have had the most profound impact on my life. They have become closer to me than brothers, they are me best friends! Each one of them have taught me something....Inspired me....encouraged me.......touched me, in some way.....I think it is safe to say that because of what God did in me, through them, I will NEVER be the same!!!
Mama Sera was one of my closest friends! she was always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, or an encouraging word, or a hug.
Uncle Jeff was always full of wise and encouraging words! His 'fathers heart' made it so easy to love him and let him love me! He inspired me to look deeper into my life and know the real me....weather he knows it or not; he helped me to grow in so many ways!
I think that the guys in the The Dove voice band have had the most profound impact on my life. They have become closer to me than brothers, they are me best friends! Each one of them have taught me something....Inspired me....encouraged me.......touched me, in some way.....I think it is safe to say that because of what God did in me, through them, I will NEVER be the same!!!
I feel so blessed to have spent these 2 months with Momm and Papa Hunter! They are tremendous friends, and AMAZING parents (if they will allow me to call them that!) I am so grateful for their gargantuan hearts for this ministry, and the love that they so easily distribute. For their understanding and willingness to listen, and be intentional with us! I really regret not opening up my heart to them from the very beginning, I know that because of that I have seriously missed out!
It is so bittersweet! Going back to my home in the U.S and leaving my home in Africa. My heart is torn between two lives that I wish I could combine into one....but I dont know how! I have to agree with my dear sister Hannah when she says, "My heart won't be whole 'til we are in heaven together!"
It is hard for me to be happy or at peace about leaving, I know that if it is God's will, the time will come for me to go back! But it is the waiting for that time that will be difficult!
These people keep asking me when I will be back and I wish that I could tell them next year, but only God knows!
On the way to the airport one of my brothers told me, "Don't cry.....its not the end, it's just the beginning!" Ha ha, he is SO right. There I was, an emotional wreck, dreading the moment when I would have to say goodbye, as if I was drawing my last breath. But, this isn't the end......it's just the beginning! I'm starting a whole new life dedicated to serving God. I don't have to be afraid! If it is His will I will be back again!
There wasn't a day that I regret,
or an hour that I would change,
or even a minute that I wish hadn't passed.
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