Confused? or not confused.....?

So, I have been reading a book called Instruments in the Redeemers hands, and the chapter that I read this morning was called "Building Relationships by Identifying with Suffering." Some of the strongest points in the chapter explained how we (Christians) are sufferers who have been called to minister to others in pain. Suffering is a very common ground in relationships, but it is also one of Gods greatest tools!
We are with Christ in the family of those who suffer.
That means that we should be compassionate and understanding, just at Jesus is compassionate and understanding. He can help us because he has been through what we have been through(and more). He is our suffering savior!

So, how do we show sensitivity and compassion to those who are suffering?
A lot of the times, I try to share in suffering with people, by telling them stories of hard times that I have been though.....In my mind I am trying to be helpful, and come a long side them as an equal. I wanted to break down any misconception that I am different from the person I was trying to help....BUT, I have found that this attempt at "identifying with suffering" only reflects a self -centered attitude, and often leaves the other person in an irritable mood. (Not to mention that I AM different) Most people who are going through tough times don't appreciate story telling, especially if your story is not exactly the same as what they are going through. 
  

And I just want to take a moment to apologize to anyone whom I have done this too. It really wasn't an act of carelessness or selfishness, but rather I just wanted to be seen as an equal. Which i am now finding is NOT what my goal should be. Because God created me different, so there is no need to try to "match" other people in struggles and trials. 

Isn't it annoying when someone says "I know exactly how you feel!" and then continues to share about something that is completely irrelevant, or doesn't match the high of your struggle at all? This is what I find myself doing to other people all the time. I have been given a wonderful life, with very few struggles...so, as much as I want to, I just can NOT say that I understand. However, in these times when God opens up a door for me to minister to someone who is hurting.....one of the BEST and most helpful things that I could ever do is just listen.....and possibly offer to pray with them, if that is what God lays on my heart to do. 

Now, I'm not saying that sharing stories is bad.....quite the opposite actually! (And this is where I get confused) but, I think we just have to be careful as to when we share our testimony, and how we share our testimony. Our testimony should not be a long detailed list of ALL the horrible bad things we have done and gone through, with a little ending of "Then my life was turned around because I "asked Jesus into my heart." In sharing our stories of struggle God wants us to give full evidence of what He can do. My story should be much more about him than about me! And that is something that I got wrong when I posted my testimony a couple of weeks ago. I'm still learning. I'm still growing. And I still have not given TRUE testimony as that what GOD has done in my life. Hopefully that will change soon! 
So, this next section I want to share with you something right out of the book pertaining to our testimony's; 

        "Always tell a completed story. Your story needs to include (1) a difficult situation (2) your struggle in the midst of it, and (3) how God helped you. This is not a "misery loves company" brand of story-telling. This is not a disaster one-upmanship. Tell a story that you can reflect on how the Lord brought comfort in the middle of it, and how He used people to do it.
As you tell your story, be honest in describing your struggle and failures. Your story must highlight God's grace in your weakness, not your heroic faith. Be willing to expose your sin so that the redemptive glory of the Lord would live in the ears of the listener. Be discerning and purposeful as you tell your story. Limit the amount of "gory" detail. Your focus is not the situation, but the God who met you in the middle of it. Always tell your story in a way that makes God the key actor in the drama. Too often our stories of Christian suffering are incredibly man-centered. Our stories are merely part of the Greater Story of redemption. Our stories belong to Him and Point to Him." 

Timeout for just one minute; We tend to treat suffering as something that belongs to us, (don't we?) something we can respond to as we please. We tend to turn suffering in on ourselves. Our world shrinks to the size of our pain. We want little more than release, and we tend to be irritable and demanding. But listen; Your struggle is NOT your identity! SO don't let it become who you are!

Okay; continue....

      "Tell your story with humility, admitting your continuing need for grace. We must tell our stories out of fresh recognition of our helplessness apart from the resources we find only in Christ. The goal of your story should always be worship. ALL true hope and comfort are rooted in thankfulness for God, His character, and His help. Giving hope is about helping a person see the Lord . Suffering commands our attention and clouds our vision, making it easy to forget what anchors our faith. We all need someone to remind us that life is not defined by our pain but by our union with Christ."

SO let your testimony be a light to those who are cast in darkness!
A few last points that I want to share with you from this book. (1) Goad makes it clear that He exstends grace to me because I'm everything but okay. A common theologies in our world today is that we have to do everything write and "fix ourselves" before we are accepted, or forgiven. God excepts you the way that you are...but that doesn't mean you can sit back a relax now! God's acceptance is a call to work! Gods grace is always grace leading to change. And change leads to testimony. 

(So, there is a difference between sharing your stories, and sharing your *story. I just have to make sure I know the difference between the two)
This chapter in this book has been such in inspiration to me....and now I want to go re-write my testimony! haha But even as it is inspiring, it also stirs up a lot of questions, thoughts, and idea's.....leaving me fairly confused on many different levels. 
There is still lots to mull over.....
And I'm sure, more posts yet to come on this topic...(maybe)

I'm not sure if all of the thoughts here linked, but I pray that this post may be an encouragement to at least a few, if not many. And I HIGHLY encourage you to GO READ THIS BOOK! I just gave you a little, itty, bitty taste of how awesome it is :) So go, find it, and read it!


Prayers, Love, and Blessings to ya'll! <3