Break Me Down....

Saturday of last week I spent the whole day just on the brink of tears. In my head I was struggling with a lot of fears of the unknown. I was struggling with disappointment  because of some doors that God had recently closed in my life. Struggling with frustrated because, once again, I felt like I had no idea what God wanted for me. Feeling totally overwhelmed by what everyone and the world thinks and says I should be doing right now, I was feeling stuck and confused as to what to do, and who I should listen to. So many thoughts, and idea's, and emotions rushing through my head--and yet--out of the chaos of that day God blessed me with a song. In-between tearful talks with my mom, and doing chores around the house, I was able to sit with my guitar and  pen and just poor my heart out onto the blank pages of my notebook. Words just seemed to flow, and click. And by the end of the day I had in my hands, a story--an explanation as to how I was feeling--in the form of a song. I would like to share my lyrics with you....this is my heart...

Right now I'm overwhelmed by the choices in my life//
I try by my own strength to make it through//
Blinded by my own pride I stumble and fall//
then I turn to you//

Bring me to my knees//
Break me down//
show me what you want for me//
I need to hear you calling//
Father please//
show me what you want for me//

So many voices telling me what I should do//
I'm so confused right now, who should I listen to//
God I need your hand to guide me in the way i should go//
I cant do this on my own//

Bring me to my knees//
Break me down//
show me what you want for me//
I need to hear you calling//
Father please//
show me what you want for me//

I hunger and thirst to hear your voice//
I'm on my knee's humble awaiting//
you've broken my pride and opened my eyes//
here I am Lord humble awaiting//
humbly awaiting//

Bring me to my knees//
Break me down//
show me what you want for me//
I need to hear you calling//
Father please//
show me what you want for me//

To know God, and know what He wants me to do is the strongest desire that I have ever felt in my life. Sometimes it is so strong that I am incapable of doing anything other than cry...

And this is where I am right now.