What she must be // guest writer

It was requested that I write a sequel to "What He must be" and title it "What She must be". However, in these past busy weeks I have been tied up in how and when I would sit down to write. And not only that but I also felt as though it may be better to hear such a topic from a Mans point of view. 

Well...my dear sister and her husband so happened to make a very surprise visit all the way from New Mexico, and while they were here I was able to talk to my brother-in-law on the subject AND asked him if he would guest write this blog post for me. He graciously accepted the challenge, and I highly agree with that which he has written down for ya'll to read and ponder. 

So, without further ado . . . 

Scott Willis

November 4, 2014


What she must be
A man's perspective on whom to pursue


A long list of requisite qualities and characteristics which a young Christian man may
maintain and to which he may often refer when he meets a young lady is not a bad thing; nor
should it be considered overly prudent to be quite choosy in considering who to pursue as a mate.
But the one trait that is of primary importance is that of deep and abiding humility. Humility is
the chief of all virtues, both in men and women. Jesus himself came in total humility (Luke
22:27, Phil 2:5-9). We want Christian spouses, and no Christian is made by God without the
infusion of humility in the soul. Therefore humility is the first, the highest of all all graces.
Humility is what makes a Christian a Christian, because no one can be saved without it. From
humility flow all the other virtues: selflessness, sacrifice, honesty, and all others; they proceed from
the humble heart. A single man who wants a wife should look for a lady who is humble, because
the truly humble feminine heart yields all the other desirable qualities in a wife.
First, if a young woman possesses the humility which is native to a regenerated/saved soul,
then she will have the blessings of the indwelling Spirit of God for all of her life (1 Cor 3:16); this
is the single greatest blessing a man could wish for in his wife. If she has the Spirit of God, then
she has the promise of life-long sanctification (Phil 1:6), so that a man may know certainly that
she will be a wife who will, over the years, grow in grace and wax greater in every virtue and in
all affection.
As a second example, we might rightly say she also must be modest, not given to vanity. But
humility is the vanguard against vanity. Humility is the very opposite of vanity because humility
doesn't think of itself, but only how it may serve others. The humble woman seeks to honor God
and bless others even with her beauty, while the vain woman seeks glory for herself, idolizing the
ephemeral accolades of a fickle world. Therefore the humble woman will be modest.

We might further say that she must be diligent; and humility will make her so (Proverbs 31).
If she is humble at heart, she will think of her duty and her future and her family before herself;
and, having these things at the fore of her heart, she will pursue what is best for them, and do so
tenaciously and assiduously; that is to say, diligently.
In short, young men should look for a woman who is both humble and actively cultivating humility. How would she appear to do so? If he sees her serving her family, submitting to her
parents, refraining from the spotlight of attention in social situations, listening more than
speaking, smiling (knowing the joy of fulfilling her divine feminine privileges), taking an interest
in those with whom she may converse rather than dominating the conversation by talking always
about herself, and generally trading her interests for the blessings of God upon those within her
sphere of influence. If he finds such a lady, he should consider himself blessed by God, and
ought to be humbled himself, and to feel unworthy of her. Her humility ought to increase his;
and his ought to inspire hers. This is the formula for a beautiful marriage, and so this is what she
must be: truly, divinely, and deeply humble.
We should recognize that this vignette of a humble woman is precisely the same vignette of
a humble young man. A single woman should look for a man who is humble; and her search will
find her seeking a man who serves his family, submits to his parents, stays out of the spotlight, is
slow to speak and quick to listen, does not dominate conversation but instead interests himself in
the lives of others, and trades his time and energy for the blessings of God upon others.
Humility in his heart will lead him to do this; the difference between his humility and hers is only
found in their respective roles as man and woman; not in essence, motivation, purity, nor object
of their humility because the essence and purity of their respective humility comes from the same
God, and the motivation, object, or goal, of the humility in each of their hearts is His glory.

-- I would only add that first and foremost that it is of utter most impotence that a woman truly Love God MORE than herself. Second; that she be selfless/servant hearted. Kind/loving. And also that she be Industrious (or as Scott said, diligent.) And of course, if one is humble...these aspects and character quality's stem from the humble heart.

I believe that one must be humbled first, before ever seeing their own need for the Lord.
So there you have it. . . preparation to be a wife starts with your faith. What do you need?