Father, please, steady my heart. .

                  ...renew my strength 

"The LORD is my strength and my song; 

he has become my salvation. 

He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, 

and I will exalt him." (Exodus 15:2) 

"My soul melts away for sorrow; 

strengthen me according to your word!" (Psalm 119:28) 

"Fear not, for I am with you; 

be not dismayed, for I am your God; 

I will strengthen you, I will help you, 

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10) 

"....that according to the riches of his glory 

he may grant you to be strengthened with power 

through his Spirit in your inner being" (Ephesians 3:16) 

"O Lord, my Lord, the strength of my salvation, 

you have covered my head in the day of battle." (Psalm 14:7)

I continually look to myself for strength. When times in my life are hard....I'm ashamed to say that the first place I run is NOT to God. Its either to my family, friends, or myself.....Even though I KNOW that God is the supplier of all my strength, He tends to be my last resort. Why is that? Its my own sinful nature. That's the only way I know how to explain it. So many times it says in the bible "my strength is in the Lord, HE gives me strength when I need it.....just at the right moment! Look to the Lord for strength!" Yet, every time.....every time my life gets messy, I turn and run almost in the opposite direction from the strength that awaits me. 

My heart leads me in the wrong direction, because it is "deceitful above all things, and wicked: who can understand it." (Jeremiah 17:9) I definitely don't understand it. 

My heart is so flimsy, and it knows not what is best for me.

At this time in my life, I feel so very emotional, and tired, and worn out....spiritually dry. And I recognize that I need God, I am ever in need of his grace in my life, and his strength to pass through the tough spots. The messy days. 

I do not want to continue to walk blindly through these trials, trying to find my own way. 

So, I want run to Him and poor myself out to Him. 

I want to humble myself before him, confessing my ignorance to Him. 

I want Him to take my heart! I trust Him to take my heart and steady it.....make it whole! 

To give me strength....and carry me through the fire.

Wish it could be easy 

Why is life so messy?

Why is pain a part of us?

There are days I feel like

Nothing ever goes right

Sometimes it just hurts so much

But You're here

You're real

I know I can trust You

Even when it hurts

Even when it's hard

Even when it all just falls apart

I will run to You

'Cause I know that You are

Lover of my soul

Healer of my scars

You steady my hear

I'm not gonna worry

I know that You've got me

Right inside the palm of your hand

Each and every moment

What's good and what gets broken

Happens just the way You plan

You are here

You're real

I know I can trust You

Even when it hurts

Even when it's hard

Even when it all just falls apart

I will run to You

'Cause I know that You are

Lover of my soul

Healer of my scars

You steady my heart 

And I will run to You

And find refuge in Your arms

And I will sing to You

'Cause of everything You are

You steady my heart

Even when it hurts

Even when it's hard

Even when it all just falls apart

I will run to You

'Cause I know that You are

Lover of my soul

Healer of my scars

You steady my heart

I'm not gonna worry

I know that you've got me

Right inside the palm of your hand

                               - Steady my heart by Kari Jobe

^This is the cry of my heart. 

To the God of all creation, who knows each and every one of his children by name, I pray that You would incline Your ear to me. Hear me. I confess that I have not honored You as I should in my life, I fail You every day. But, Father, would you grant grace, strength, and mercy.....even to the wretched sinner that I am. Thank you for Your ever present love and care in my life. You are so good, even when there is nothing good in me. You are so worthy of all my adoration. My heart belongs to You. 

Amen