So in love with God

I am so in love with God. <3 <3 <3 I am so overwhelmed! I cant even explain it!  I am filled with emotion when I think about Him. But it is so deep down inside.......hard to see from the outside.

But, I do have intimacy with Him, I feel so deeply. He is amazing!

I felt like this when I came back from Uganda...and I was so afraid, then, that it wouldn't last. But with great joy and excitement I am discovering that it is still the same....it IS unexplainable! I have this overload of passionate love for God! I feel him all around me..in everything - I see Him. My faith is not just a knowing anymore.  Not just believing.  There is more, it is real. 

It is a love relationship.

On Sunday, I cried as we sang songs of worship; talking about God's love. Tears flooded down my face, my voice quivered......These were songs that I have sung a million times before, and never had they struck me so deep. Never had I felt so connected to God. It is amazing!

Then again this morning as I read my Bible......In Zephaniah I came across this verse....

                     " The LORD your God is with you.

              He is mighty to save. He will take great delight

         in you,  He will quiet you with his love,  
                    He will rejoice over you with singing! "

And again I was filled with emotion and began to cry. I know that I  have read this verse before....Many times.......And I remember memorizing it when I was a little girl. But it meant so much more to me this morning! It was so incredible. <3 

He is my passion! I LOVE God! I know that nothing in this world can get in the way of Gods love for me! It never ceases to amaze and melt my heart to watch how - as a Loving Father, He brought things into my life that shook my faith, 
knocking me to my knees;
in order to draw my heart closer to His.  
I am convicted by the Love that He has poured out on so many lives. My heart is so full and bursting.  His Love is so incredible.  

I am falling deeper in love with him every day -  

"God, I adore You!" 

I see every day, the way that He loves me through my faithlessness. I see every day, the way He blesses me through trying situations.

My heart is filled with wonder...and awe,

and I fall helplessly in love with the one who created my heart..changed my heart..captivated my heart.

He is mighty..

He loves me..

And HE is HERE with me!

--

--
"The Lord your God is with you
Hes is mighty to save
He will take great delight in you
He will quiet you with His love 

He will rejoice over you with singing
He will rejoice over you with His song
He will rejoice over you with singing
He will rejoice over you with His song

And through the night (in your darkest hour)
When you are tired (and you've lost all hope)
He will hold you tight

He will rejoice over you with singing
He will rejoice over you with His songHe will rejoice over you with singing
He will rejoice over you with His song"   --


I love you all.  God bless.

He Will Rejoice

Learning to love

I live because of you Jesus..

I can see my lack of love....and I'm convicted -- I need to pour out my love. More and more and more! Love changes everything. Jesus you prove that!  Without love, my actions profit nothing. I want to spend more time with You Jesus......learning how to love.

You captivate me...

humble me..

Your love changed everything..

Your love changed me, and is still changing me.

To whom else should I run? I'm running to your arms. The riches of your love are enough for me....nothing can compare to you! My heart will sing no other name, Jesus.....your name is above all! I am not worthy to call upon it...

But Jesus, I need you..

I need you so much...

All I need is you!

My heart cries "fill me with you Jesus..."

I cant get over your love for me! There is so much comfort and peace in knowing You!

.......Jesus cares for me!

You sustain me. Nothing is the same. "Jesus I love you!" 

Your love is so big...so vast...so amazing! I just cant describe it. I cant get over it!!!!

 I am yours..............

                      " Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; 

                         I have called you by name; you are MINE!"

                                       <3( Isa. 43:1) 

God, is so good. He is totally awesome! In time of need he never fails to revile verses, such as these, to me. And I am again convicted by his love!

It is so boundless....fathomless.....deeper than any chasm....

Your love oh lord, reaches to the heavens. It is Indescribable! 

--

--

Thank you Jesus for your love 

thank you for being my everything..

You are every breath that I need

thank you for giving me life...

Thank you for being the treasure of my heart...

Thank you for sustaining my heart

thank you for overwhelming my soul....

Thank you for a heart that seeks you

thank you for NEVER giving up on me...

Thank you for conviction me

changing my heart

making me Yours...

Thank you for giving me what I need

....Not what I want.

You are so faithful.. .

Thank you for choosing me

though I'm not worthy...

You are Holy!

There are no words to say....

How much I love you Jesus! <3

What do I know of Holy

I take God for granted way to often. And I made him way too small in my life before. I allowed many things to be greater than Him. My own selfish desires became more important to me than my relationship with God, and I slipped down, deeper into the pit of sin.  

Satan's lies have clouded my vision and I was unable to see the majestic glory of God. I no longer thought about whether what I was doing was disobedient to God, or whether it hurt Him or cause Him grief. I didn't care about His opinion. He became the last person I ran to in time of need, when I was hurting, when I was struggling, when I needed wisdom... 

It wasn't that I didn't think He was capable.......but rather, that my arrogance and pride clouded my vision......."It’s like the clouds that obscure our view of the majesty and heights of the mountains. It steals our strength before we even start the ascent."  - unknown.  
 I thought myself as "unworthy"....which I am! But, it was a selfish thought.....I made myself more holy than God, because I thought that the things I had done were far too great for even God to forgive. Yes, He who sent His son to die on the cross as a payment for everyone's sin. That is like saying He didn't do enough, Jesus didn't suffer enough for our sins. 

.

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven but I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small, I never feared You at all, no
If You touched my face would I know You?

Looked into my eyes, could I behold You?

What do I know of You who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood but the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury? Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

 

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were might to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of You who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood but the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury? Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life it's name?
What do I know of holy of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name on earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

What do I know of Holy?     

 
                       (What do I know of holy - Addison Road)

But now, I see where I messed up...

I'm asking God for forgiveness, and His grace to heal my heart. 
And I'm learning to fear the Lord. 
I want God to be in control of my life because I know that He knows what is best for me!

He is the first person I run to...

He is #1 in my life..

He is my passion....

and I am learning every day about Him, and who He created me to be. 

He is no longer the smallest part of my life he is the BIGGEST! 

I love you Lord!! <3

Blessings ~

 

Keep On Keeping On

Since coming back from Africa, it has been a constant struggle for me in my spiritual life. I have been drawing ever so close to God....and as a result Satan ha been hitting me harder then ever before. I was given such an incredible opportunity to experience the love of God. I saw life and love from a whole new perspective!
I developed a hunger to get a hold of Jesus and reflect Him. I wish that my relationship with God could become so contagious that every one around me can see and feel the holy spirit. I want to be used for the glory of God!  Satan hates that and he uses strategy to plan attacks against me. I am asking God to strengthen me and to guard me from the destructive path of the devil.  I am a son of God and Satan has NO power over  me! 

                     James 4:7 

       "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

                  1 Peter 5:8-9

            "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about,  seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions  are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world."

I know that God is shaping me, molding me through my present situation. No matter how hard it gets, I will  trust, God has plans for me! I will continue to immerse myself in God. It is the only way!

Blessings <3

Reflection

God gave me an amazing taste of  what real fellowship looks like. We spent the majority of our time  with 19 young men who  live totally by faith, are self sacrificing, have a passion for there relationship with God and showed me what unconditional love looks like. They loved us before we even landed in Uganda. Before they even met us, they loved us. And from the moment I met them at the air port I knew they loved me. They didn’t know me…..they new nothing about me, but they loved me.  The love I felt from them never decreased……I never felt un-loved by them. I could literally see love radiating off of them. But it wasn’t a humanly love…it was the love of God. It was a heavenly love.


There were 4 other girls that I lived with in Momm and Papa Hunters house; all older than me. Hannah, Sarah, Blair and Robyn. We learned to live together, totally bare and transparent before each other. And because of this I experienced a deeper fellowship then I new was possible. These girls were my journal, I told them absolutely everything and I trust them with my life. As a result, my heart and my eyes were opened to the wealth of riches that God has in-store for us when we live the way that He intended. 
It was also reveled to me that I have a propensity to allow my fear of man to inhibit me using my spiritual gift of evangelism. I have always been afraid to get up and talk in font of people or share my relationship with God with others because I was afraid I would say something stupid or “the people” or person would think badly of me. And so, basically, I have been ignoring God’s calling for me.  I have not had faith in God to give the right words to say.
Some of the young men prayed for me one night and almost instantly my fear was gone. You have to know that it wasn’t a “normal” prayer…..we had all gathered in the Living room for worship and they brought me to the center of the room, told me to kneel, they prophesied into my life and as they prayed over me I felt the holy spirit in me and I was left with just this very palpable sense of peace. You see when Africans pray they just pray, everybody, all at once, because they are not interested in impressing others with what they have to say. When they pray it’s only them and God --I really came to appreciate that!

Have you ever tasted a Cyrus O’Leary chocolate cream pie?  It good right? The best thing you’ve ever tasted…and you just think that there couldn’t be one other thing under heaven so good!    But then you taste a Home Made Chocolate cream pie and all of the sudden that Cyrus O’Leary pie taste like dirt! You realize how you were fooled into thinking that something was great when really it wasn’t all that great. The home made Chocolate Cream pie is SO MUCH BETTER! 
That’s pretty much how I was introduced to my relationship with God.
Before I left for Africa…I really thought I had a great relationship with God. I really believed deep down in my heart that I had an intimate relationship with God.  Well, while I was in Africa God changed me. He did a work in my heart…opened up my eye’s. I was given a taste…a glimpse of what my relationship with God should be! I experienced real intimacy with God…and I realize how wrong I was! I look back and see how pathetic I was and how much God was after my heart but I was completely a totally hard hearted. Arrogant. Prideful. Stubborn. and most of all…..selfish. But God gave me that home made Chocolate cream pie…for myself…it is mine! He gave me a new passion for Him…one that was my own! By my own choosing I’m following after God!

Blessings <3

Simple Truth

 written by Blair Burk

"Those of you who have yet to experience life in a different culture and have yet to fall in love with it, I am going to let you in on the secret of our hearts. It's hard!

I knew there were many things I was going to miss about Africa. There are so many differences in the two cultures, people, and spiritual life. Culturally there are obvious differences. In the US we are so accustomed to the material lifestyle. We live off of comfort. We thrive off of satisfaction. Some examples, when we are hungry we feed ourselves, when we are cold we throw more clothes on, when we are tired we find a comfortable place to sleep, when we want something we find a way to get it. Don't mistake my meaning of this. I believe that we have been blessed to have a continuous success. The African culture is more tradition in their ways. The changes and successes are gradually making its way. Today's generation of youth have had a huge impact on their development. They dont live off comfort, they dont thrive off of satisfaction. They live day by day. When they are hungry they pray, when they are tired they sleep anywhere, when they want something they let their patience and faith take over. Now there are pros and cons to both sides. One is not greater then another, because we all have weaknesses.
 "Each person is different in their own way. As a whole Americans are different then Africans. Let me share some of my own observations/opinions. As I said before the Africans are more traditional in their ways, such as being conservative. You would think everyone knew everyone and they are all best friends. No matter what they are doing they greet people, and use that time to relate with one another. When they walk into a room they will take the time to greet every single person individually. Here is how the Americans relate (from my perspective). How often do you walk into a house and pass the people you dont know and wait to be introduced? There is a sense of self righteousness in the need to have your name and position announced. I will say I dont believe that is the motive every time. When we go to the store to shop, how do we treat the employees? How do we treat the people around us? Why have we let our impatient affect our attitudes towards people. The determination we have, has potential to be beneficial but so many times we let that determination hinder us. Determination is good, as long as we have patience to help the balance of things. Obviously I am not directing this towards everyone specifically, but as a whole. Something we have is a sense of security and safety. We are able to trust people before we know them. We trust people until proven otherwise. Africans are very opposite. They dont trust until others prove themselves worthy of it. So again there is a good and bad for both. 

"Now for my favorite part. Our spiritual differences and similarities are there but I am going to speak to both sides as one, because this applies to us all. All over the world Christianity is becoming a religion. Our churches are becoming institutionalized. I can't say I am a Christian, because I dont belong to a church (building). I am born again because I belong to Jesus Christ. When do we stop being afraid of how we look or what others think of us? When does our spiritual freedom come? Does it come when we hit rock bottom? Does it come after trying everything else? Will it come when we have gone to church and listened to a pastor preach at us? Spiritual freedom will come when we completely surrender EVERYTHING to God. The desires of our hearts will be met when we lay that desire down at the feet of Jesus. Gods purpose for us is greater then any other, so why do we hold on to the small things? God has something so much bigger for us, something unimaginable, something unseen, something fathomless. God is a relational God. He wants to talk with us. He wants us to succeed. He wants us to grow. God is a Father that wants the absolute best for His children. How can we think we know whats best for us when God has already laid out the perfect path? Let a new fire burn in you. Let the ears and eyes of your heart and soul be opened to the Holy Spirit. 

Church is good, but what is church to you? It's not the building, its not just on Sundays, or the days you meet at the building. Church is not going out and doing good. Church can happen at home. On your front porch.  In your kitchen. Around your camp fire. In your car. At the store......or even at the pool. Church isn't a sacred building where you devote no more that 2 hours to God once a week.  to me, Church is the body of "believers"  living with each-other, serving one-another, encouraging each-other and loving everyone..... as Christ did us!
 

"I mean no offense to anyone, but this is what my heart is saying to me, and I am open to any other words you have to share. When we are open to what others have to say, then we have an opportunity to grow, and who wouldn't want that?

"I had done my best in equipping myself for the return trip. I never knew how difficult it would actually be. When we experience something for the first time we can only imagine what it will be like, and that estimate is almost always short of the truth."


Blessing <3

It's not goodbye.......it's just see you later

Me and my dear brother Yves

- From my journal -

Tuesday,   August 23rd.    2011

In the back of our minds we knew the time would come, but we tried to abstain from it by calling it "bad words" and forbidding people to talk about it. Now it is here and we can't avoid it any longer...

we are leaving today. 

I'm not ready to go........didn't we just get here? Two months seems like such a short time, yet again it feels like it has been an eternity! so much has happened, and in such a short period of time. Things that would have taken years to uncover appeared in a matter of just a few weeks.

--

The relationships we built, and the people we met who loved us so unconditionally, made it seem beyond the bounds of possibility for our hearts to stay intact when going back home. They witnessed the change and growth in my life, because they had been part of the influence.  
Mama Sera was one of my closest friends! she was always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, or an encouraging word, or a hug.   
Uncle Jeff was always full of wise and encouraging words! His 'fathers heart' made it so easy to love him and let him love me! He inspired me to look deeper into my life and know the real me....weather he knows it or not; he helped me to grow in so many ways! 
I think that the guys in the The Dove voice band have had the most profound impact on my life. They have become closer to me than brothers, they are me best friends! Each one of them have taught me something....Inspired me....encouraged me.......touched me, in some way.....I think it is safe to say that because of what God did in me, through them, I will NEVER be the same!!!   

I feel so blessed to have spent these 2 months with Momm and Papa Hunter! They are tremendous friends, and AMAZING parents (if they will allow me to call them that!) I am so grateful for their gargantuan hearts for this ministry, and the love that they so easily distribute. For their understanding and willingness to listen, and be intentional with us! I really regret not opening up my heart to them from the very beginning, I know that because of that I have seriously missed out! 

It is so bittersweet! Going back to my home in the U.S and leaving my home in Africa. My heart is torn between two lives that I wish I could combine into one....but I dont know how! I have to agree with my dear sister Hannah when she says, "My heart won't be whole 'til we are in heaven together!"

It is hard for me to be happy or at peace about leaving, I know that if it is God's will, the time will come for me to go back! But it is the waiting for that time that will be difficult!

These people keep asking me when I will be back and I wish that I could tell them next year, but only God knows!

On the way to the airport one of my brothers told me, "Don't cry.....its not the end, it's just the beginning!" Ha ha, he is SO right. There I was, an emotional wreck, dreading the moment when I would have to say goodbye, as if I was drawing my last breath. But, this isn't the end......it's just the beginning! I'm starting a whole new life dedicated to serving God.  I don't have to be afraid! If it is His will I will be back again!

There wasn't a day that I regret,

or an hour that I would change,

or even a minute that I wish hadn't passed.

.........
 

 

There Is More To Africa

Than power outages and chasing chickens
written by Papa Hunter

Two fighting cocks ended up on our veranda yesterday.  One was obviously terrorizing the other, who ran behind the wicker love seat to hide and find safety.  I jumped up and attempted to shoo them off the veranda and and into the compound next to ours.  The weaker bird thought better and sought refuge through the open door into our living room.  I finally chased the victor out the front door, but the wounded and bleeding one buried his head in three different corners and under a coffee table ... leaving blood spots on the walls and floor.  Not until I grabbed both of his wings and heaved him out into our compound yard did this ridiculously funny episode come to an end.

This experience and the recent power and water outages, that we lived with while the team from Idaho was here, are not what make up my time and give me meaning here in Uganda.  They are minor and amusing elements that bring smiles to my face and generate some great stories.

Sarah, Rose, Paul, and Hannah

Hannah, Sarah, and Rose give an accurate picture of what helps define my destiny here in Uganda.  No, they are not Africans.  They are not here as missionaries.  They are three teenage girls from Oregon and Idaho who came to live life with Pam and me for 7 weeks here in Uganda.  They leave for the States two weeks from Tuesday.  Several days ago, they again reminded us that they wanted Pam and me, along with Nathan and Lainy Robertson, to be intentional with them and mentor them relationally.

Discipleship is not a program.  It is not a body of content and information designed to indoctrinate subordinates with personal theological convictions.  Discipleship is a mutually encouraging and empowering relationship that results in an intense and intimate following of Christ.  It involves giving away all that Jesus Christ has given us, particularly to the next generation regardless of what continent they live on, so that they have a better skill at living life than we ever did.

Edgar, Sera, Jeff

Last night we had the joy of sharing Edgar with these three young ladies.  Pam and I met and worked with Edgar in 2004.  Edgar lived in the same compound with us.  He is now 28 years old and he makes us proud.  When he first met us he was filled with selfish ambition to be an impressive apostle to the nations.  Today he lives in Western Uganda and works diligently to develop a high quality dairy on a farm for which he has great vision.

Last night he was filled with wise words, demonstrating fruit gleaned from the past several years.  He told the girls that there are few people who help sow seeds in the lives of young people and stay committed to them to see fruit from those seeds.  He expressed gratitude to the Lord for bringing Pam and me into his life, helping plant seeds in it that have helped him be who he is and come to where he is.  Edgar has made the transition from boy to man and become a real man of God over the past 7 years.  We delight in the amazing work of transformation God has accomplished in his life.

Love connection between America and Africa

Chasing chickens and dealing with the absence of comforts common and expected in the West are not even side bar issues with us.  Seeing the next generation mature, find their identity, and embrace their destiny is what makes our boats float!  Hannah (18), Sarah (17), and Rose (16) are well on their way to becoming amazing women of God.  The privilege they are enjoying here in Africa is providing them with a fantastic climate for spiritual and personal prosperity.  Soon they will have chicken chasing stories of their own to tell, but I'm confident that the focus of their lives will be on discovering and displaying the glory of Jesus ... wherever they are and in whatever they are doing!

To God be the glory.  Great things He is doing.
Paul D. Hunter

A once in a lifetime experience

On the 8th of Aug. Hannah, Sarah and I were given an invitation to record, in studio, with the Dove Voice Band.  We, along with Papa, Momm, Jeff Kasigwa and Sera Kasonga, spent all day in the studio with the band. I dont even have any words to express how amazing that day was, you'll just have to take my word for it!  Here is the day from Papa Hunters perspective.

Getting ready to record

The amazing  Producer Adella and Young Serge

Emma, Convio, Adella and Serge

discussing......

Hannah singing the melody with Sami and Robert

Robert and Sarah styling.....

Ready or not here we go...

Sarah and I singing harmony with Robert

Sami and Hope loving Sarah!

We're just posing in this picture :)

Singing Upendo

Momm being cute :)

Praying for Producer Adella

Robert :)

I've never seen these guys so happy!

Serge jamming out.....

Convoi looking very "smart"

Celebrating while listening to the finished product...

Looking back I can honestly say that it was one of the Best day's of my life! Not because my voice was being recorded to go on the album of a band that would soon be famous ;) but because of the relational time that we had with each other! On the way home I laid my head on Mama Sera's shoulder and cried. "I don't want this day to end" were the only word's that I was able to choke out between sob's. I think we all felt that way!!

It was a day that I wish could have lasted forever. It was a day I will NEVER forget. It was a day that only God could have planed so perfect.  It was a day I was able to just rest in the arms of my heavenly Father.

New Life

Last Saturday, August 13th I was re-baptized by Papa Paul and Momm Pam Hunter. Hannah and Sarah were baptized as well. And to our request The Dove Voice band came along. Before the baptism I shared some of my life and the reason for my desire to be re-baptized with the Dove boys and I wanted also to share it with you. I can honestly say that I'm a new person, I died to my old self and was raised up with Christ! Amen!

"I grew up in a Christian home  with fabulous parents and grandparents that nurtured me and taught me, and brought me up to love Jesus. I asked God into my heart when I was 3 years old under the conviction that I didn’t want to burn forever in a lake of fire in hell. But I still lived like an orphan. I lived as a walking dead man on the inside for almost all my life. I was baptized by my Dad when I was 12 years old along with several other kids in our church, but it wasn’t significant for me, it didn’t mean anything to me, it was just something that every Christian did and it was cool to be able to tell people that I had been baptized.

It wasn’t until I started planning this trip last year that I realized how much trouble I was getting myself into. I realized what a mess I was creating for myself and other people by the way I was living my life. 

 I’ve never dated, never been intimate with any boy, I’ve never wanted to get into drugs or alcohol, I’ve never struggled with depression , I’ve never been abused… so the World would say that I’ve never experienced HARD TIMES or difficulties, and until I came to Africa I believed it. Since coming to Africa God has done a miraculous work in my heart. He has opened my eye’s to see the real me. He has used so many people here in Africa…specifically Papa-Paul and Momm-Pam, Jeff and Lyzette,  my sisters Blair, Robyn, Hannah and Sarah, and the Dove Voice Band, in a very powerful way to change me….to help me turn my life around and start a new beginning. I want to live now as one who has been forgiven….I want to live like a SON not and ORPHAN. I know that fear  builds walls instead of bridges, and I have let my fear build too many walls in my life (that I am now having to knock down)……but, I am God’s child, and I don’t have to be afraid anymore! 

Because of my brothers in the Dove Voice Band I feel like I know how to love a brother…….I have never experienced the type of love that these guys have shown me! They loved me before they even new me….and after they new me, they could only love me more! I am SO blessed to have the relationships that I have with these men and I want to take the relationships that I have made with you guys back home with me and build relationships with my brothers in the same way! I cant even explain how much I love the Dove Voice Band, I have taken and kept EVERY thing that they have spoke into my life. They are true, serious men of God and I respect them so much!   

I want to live my life wholeheartedly for God not because its the right thing to do, not because my parents want me too, not because its what everyone else is doing or wants me to do……but because its what I want to do! God Is drawing me. He is calling me, to himself, through conviction by the Holy spirit. He want's ME! He has put new dreams in my heart and pointed me in the right direction and I’m so excited to do work for HIM! 

So, that is why I want to be baptized…I want to rededicate my life to the Lord….. This is a new beginning for me and I want to give it all, 100%, to Him."

This is the name of one of the boats down at the Nile river where we
were getting baptized..........what a coincidence!?!

Family time before the baptism!

Boris adding a few words of wisdom

Sarah sharing

Me sharing, and shedding more than a few tears

Hannah trying to share

Praying

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Hugs all around!

Us girls with Momm and Papa

Family picture!!

I have no words.........

It was the happiest day of my life! Glory to God in the Highest heaven!!!  

Blessings <3